Unconditional love and acceptance. Isn’t that what every one of us searches for as we risk letting other people get close to us?

When we open our hearts to another person, our bottom-line desire is to be accepted and loved the way we are, warts and all.

We want to be able to drop the mask and be safe.

We want unconditional love.

We want the real thing.

Deep. Lasting. Resilient.

In our national survey, a majority of both men and women told us that unconditional love is their number one love need from their marriage partner.

Unconditional love is the commitment that says, “I will stay with you no matter what. I will always love you. I will affirm you and support you.”

Acceptance means, “I will receive you even in the midst of tough times.”

Barb and I have found that our love for each other is glorious in the good times—the vacations on the beach, the memory-making experiences with the kids, the times of deep intimacy together with Jesus Christ.

It’s easy to love in the good times. But when our marriage comes under intense testing, we need unconditional love.

Love that won’t quit. We need to know we are accepted even when we come up short, even when we can’t see beyond our own pain and failures.

8 Ways to Love Your Wife 

Encourage Her
When your wife fails or disappoints you or others, your first response— your words—will determine whether she folds under the pressure or rises above her circumstances.

Stand with Her
When your wife feels as if she is a failure or when she is discouraged that she isn’t growing, your ability to stand with her for the long haul will give her the strength to become stronger.

Compliment Her
Compliment your wife on who she is. Her actions and character are as important as her looks.

Respect Her Opinion
When your wife is expressing her opinion, love her by listening.

Talk with Her—and Listen
When your wife needs to talk, it’s essential for you to create a safe environment for her. Don’t minimize how important your role is.

Be Tender with Her
Make a special effort to be extra tender and sensitive to your wife.

Spend Time with Her
When your wife’s days are full of hard work and the unending needs of family, when she is pouring out more than she is taking in, she needs time with the most familiar, trusted, comforting man in her life.

Serve Her
Your willingness to serve your wife will prove to her that no matter what comes your way, you will love her unconditionally.

5 Ways to Love Your Husband

Show Grace with His Weaknesses
When you express grace to your husband in his areas of weakness and sin, you love him as Jesus loves him.

Affirm Him Whenever You Can
Hearty affirmation is a key ingredient in unconditional love. It’s like a magnet: It draws us in; it attracts us.

Help Him Feel Safe
Just as your husband shows you how valuable you are when he listens to your feelings (strengthening you), he feels valued when he knows you have understood him and listened to him.

Take Time to Connect
Unconditional love occurs only in the context of communication and true connection. Set time aside to be together!

Study Your Husband
One of the best ways for you to know how to meet your husband’s need for unconditional love and acceptance is to know your husband. This means you must become a student, getting to know your husband inside and out.